the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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