I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Randomize