I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
