You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
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Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
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Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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