More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
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