Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You made out with two different species that night
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You don't make any sense
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