How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
