careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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