you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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