either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
