she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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