found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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