i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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