Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize