haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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