so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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