So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
