I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
