I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Is it because I queefed?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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