Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
