i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
