Its about making memories worth repressing
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
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