the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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