Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
