u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Randomize
