The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
