is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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