I want to stick my p in your. b.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
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I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
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Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
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