wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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