Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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