I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
