Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
