I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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