Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
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When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
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I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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