i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
