If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
