We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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