STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
When are your genitals available?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
