Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize