Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
