i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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