There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
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We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
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I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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