I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
