its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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