Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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