I've blown a few things in my day
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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