So drunk, too bad you don't want this
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
