I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
