Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
