What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
