Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
