All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
