There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
