She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Acid is not a monday night drug
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
