How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
