don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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