I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
