I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
